Museum of Useless Inventions

Nothing is quite so essential for public order as a well-lit copper! (Popular Science, July 1928).

This Irish twin-hulled lifeboat had the inner hull mounted on gimbals, so it remained level even when the outer hull capsized. I see problems with this system…. (Popular Science, Dec. 1927).

I think my favorite feature is that it can “be bent to fit any car.” Talk about crashworthiness!

John Queen Slye didn’t just build this exer-canoe featured in Popular Science (July 1919); he applied for a patent!

It’s not as bad as it looks! From a July 1919 review of novel beauty treatments in Popular Science.

In a 1938 lecture, Air-Commodore J.G. Hearson described how a lethal fence of barrage balloons would protect London, coyly declining to explain the destructive mechanism but hinting that it was much more effective than a mere wire tether. In practice, the balloon wires claimed 25 hostile aircraft–and 91 friendlies!

The “Smith Flyer,” featured as a “Car for Boys and Girls” in Popular Mechanics (Jan. 1917), holds the record as the world’s cheapest automobile. Developed by the A. O. Smith company on the basis of the direct-drive “motor wheel” patented by Arthur William Wall of England, it had a buckboard frame that doubled as the suspension. The engine developed about 1.5HP, and top speed was roughly 20MPH. The entire unit weighed 135lbs. Briggs & Stratton bought the rights in 1919, continuing production until 1925.

Here’s an idea whose time has come around once again: the Delivery Door, by the Sollitt Kitchen Door Co. of Chicago (Popular Mechanics, Jan. 1917). Keeps coronavirus OUT!

The following description is from the Architecture Catalogue (11th ed.), published by Sweets Catalogue Service, New York:

The object of this invention is to secure delivery of small goods and supplies through a closed and locked door, without the supply dealer’s seeking or gaining access to the premises within.

Construction — Door is made of best varieties of wood, as desired. It contains a
cabinet of several compartments, each of which has its own door (with printed sign
thereon) on the outside. One door on inside of cabinet provides access to all its compartments, which vary in size to meet usual requirements. The cabinet projects about six inches beyond the front and rear sides of door.

Operation — The supply dealer places his goods in the proper compartment, outside door of which has been left ajar for his convenience; he then pushes
shut the particular door or doors used by him, which action automatically causes a latch to fasten the same securely on the inside.

Installation in Old Doors — Cabinets complete will be installed in any old (the present) door; will be painted outside and varnished inside; and will be
equipped with all necessary lettering, with requisite hardware in place, etc.

Sises of Cabinet — Standard sizes (inches) of four compartments are: All shelves, 11 1/2 by 24 inches; heights, 9, 9 1/4, 8 and 4 inches, respectively.

Special sizes made to order.

Advantages.

( 1 ) Answering ring of door bell for each package, as delivered, is eliminated. (2) Thus time is saved by both dealer and buyer. (3) Supplies are delivered where and when wanted. (4) A great convenience whether occupants are or are not at home. (5) Delivery of goods through the Sollitt Door bars out tramps, beggars, thieves and defectives prone to commit crime. (6) Contact of children with delivery men, who may have been in homes where contagious disease exists, is avoided. (7) Useless conversation with such persons is dispensed with. (8) All strangers are properly barred. (9) Safety of inmates is secured. (10) Kitchen floors escape the dirt and germs carried in by delivery men daily.

Prices.

Door (with cabinet) complete, ready to hang, painted on outside, lettered, hardware on cabinet, and delivered for $12.00 net.

Cabinet complete installed in the present door, painted outside, varnished inside, lettered, all hardware on, for $10.00 net.

Although it often promoted dubious devices, Popular Mechanics was capable of mocking the absurdity of some impractical gadgets such as Oppenheimer’s fire escape parachute (Sept. 1909, p. 345). The 1879 patent describes the parachute as being “about four or five feet in diameter” and made of “soft or waxed cloth.” While the parachute was to be connected “in suitable manner, to the upper part of the body,” the main attachment point appears to be the head.